wheezing woman weekend

I just observed Herpetron desperately trying to spoon with Cupid. It was one of the cutest things of my life. Then Herpetron started falling asleep on her back with her feet up in the air. It's adorable because they're so tiny. I think this is one of the reason I like having small pets. Even when I have a long tiring day and I'm feeling sick I can come home and watch the hamsters being cute. It's a simple happiness.

A less cute story...I have been nastily sick this weekend. I don't think I've had such a fever in awhile. It started out Saturday morning as a general overheating. Saturday during the day I was having hot flashes, or maybe more like feverish heatstrokes. Last night the fever had reduced but I woke up a bunch of times sweating profusely. My body aches in a crippling way without the Sudafed. I sound like I've been smoking since I was 11 and my throat feels like a raw, bloody pulp.

Despite the ailments my weekend was decent. I went to a party, had people over for dinner, went to Fiesta twice in one day and played some pool. Fiesta fascinates me in terms of what it offers. I like their international section, but I rarely buy anything from there since I am still trying to master simple American college student cooking. I leave international cooking to restaurants and skilled friends.

Today I interned. I felt a wave of panic when I first walked in because everyone was busy and there was nowhere to sit and I was just standing around in the busy newsroom. It's a terrible awkward feeling. It's how I used to feel almost everyday at Fox even when I was sitting down. However, at KXAN I have more confidence so I found a seat, waited for story assignments and asked to go out with a reporter. I like the reporter I went out with today because she gives me stuff to do. She gives me advice and doesn't let me sit around idle. Not that I ever want to anyway. She throws me into situations that can be challenging. We went to a meeting at City Hall. It wasn't always the most interesting information, but there were a lot of good story ideas. I like when I can see interviews I did or things I wrote on the 10PM show.

When I got back I had to start editing my own package that's due Friday. This was where the real challenge would lie, since most news stations edit with Avid...a complicated PC editing program. It seems so much different than Final Cut Pro, which is what I learned at school. I used Avid a little bit over the summer, but always hated it with a passion. I asked one of the photogs for help and he agreed right away. He didn't make me wait, he didn't tease me, he didn't treat me like I was stupid, he just helped me. Today I got more comfortable asking for help, which seems so simple, but it's not really. Over the summer I felt like anyone that I asked for anything...they'd just ignore me or harass me or make me wait and forget about me or they'd help halfway. It felt like such a struggle to get anything done. And I guess they probably thought I deserved it. I think it's true that when you don't feel like anyone believes in you, you usually fail. I felt so unsupported. KXAN is tough and blunt, but also kind and friendly if you give even a little effort. Thursday I really have to dominate Avid because today I just ingested video, the easy part. I think I'll make it through.

Tomorrow is Super/Fat Tuesday. It's also my final step toward the NYC internship. I have a phone interview. Last year I spent hours preparing and trying to imagine what they might ask. Only to be rejected in the end. This year I'll prepare a little bit, but mostly try to wing it. I want to seem natural. I feel more qualified and confident this year. I know staying in Austin for the summer wouldn't be a bad thing anyway. It is what it is.

The past few days I have particularly enjoyed the contrast between Thom Yorke's "The Clock" from The Eraser and Bob Dylan's "Talkin' New York" from Bob Dylan. Electronic beats and a hillbilly guitar. Delicioso to mine ears.

Ears hear, hair is near.

***OFFICIAL: I have accepted my grayness at the tender age of 22. They're coming in faster and stronger than ever. I almost like it. I guess it's weird enough.