I need to go to charm school.

I'm feeling tormented. I don't want this blog to turn into my worried rants about the future. Part of me doesn't want to worry too much about what's not happening now, but another part of me can't help but think that in five months I have to figure out the next part of my life. "Figure something out" basically = find a job. I feel like everyone else in my major is progressing along so well and I'm quickly losing my desire to compete. A job isn't going to fall into my lap. If I want a job in broadcast, I need to do it immediately after graduation, otherwise I don't think I'll ever get back into it. I'm lacking something I felt like I had before I started interning. Probably my confidence. I think there is a certain way to connect with people that I just don't seem to possess. My dad used to jokingly tell me I needed to go to charm school...maybe he was right. Does such a thing exist? After more than 15 years of school I've learned to be a good student, but I haven't been had many jobs in the "real world". I don't have practice interacting with people in that capacity. I'm tired of thinking about this dumb problem. I just want to do something where I feel socially relaxed. My stomach is in knots.

These types of entries are so lifeless. Hopefully I will look back on them and laugh because I thought I was so confused.