RIP, still

I am once again with computer.

I have the ability to write about the trips I've been taking and the things I've been noticing, but it's not the time right now. Yesterday would have been my grandma's birthday, it was also the one year anniversary of her death. I've been thinking about her. I went back to read my entries about it on my LiveJournal. I also wrote a letter to her...after she had died. It was saved on my computer, but after it crashed, I don't know. I suppose it's saved on my other hard drive in the United States. One year later I am still thinking of her frequently. It's still unreal that she's not in my life anymore. I think of all the things that have happened to me over the past year that I wish she could know about. She knew I was going to come to Spain. She was really excited for me. We wanted her to come to Italy, but she was scared to fly.

Life goes on, the pain slowly subsides, but it's still hard to think that she's gone. Her death toppled me in an unreal way last year. It wasn't the type of emotional pain that can physically affect you, it was the type of deep pain that makes you think and think and think. It's missing someone and thinking of all the little details about them and all of the memories you had together.