Come back in focus again

A few weeks ago the professor of my Textos Narrativos class asked us an interesting question pertaining to the story we had just read. Translated...

"Are your desires part of your identity?"

I've been trying for too many minutes to answer this question and I keep erasing what I write because it sounds complicated and uninteresting. I think my professional desires are part of my identity right now. What other kinds of desires do I even have? This is where I'm getting stuck. I have personal desires...like related to my social/romantic life. I have desires related to my own self...like things I want to do to improve my own experience on this earth. I guess like another branch of personal desires. I have, maybe world desires, is how I could put it. Desires to improve the lives of other people. Is is sad that my professional desires are the only ones I feel like define me? Sometimes I feel like the personal desires identify me, but only to the extent that they are related exclusively to me. I don't like to have my identity linked to anyone else's. I don't know; I just thought it was a cool question.

I recently downloaded the new Radiohead CD. I think it's amazing. If I was more musically literate I would try to explain why. I like some of the lyrics. I love Thom Yorke's voice. I like a lot of the guitar...solos...I don't know if they're exactly solos. The way the guitar complements everything else. Sometimes it has a strong sounds and...harmonizes maybe. Ugh, why can't I describe these things better? I guess I'll never be a music reviewer. I am definitely impressed though. I was scared after Radiohead released Hail to the Thief and I thought they said they wouldn't release anymore LPs. But they have, they are! Right now my favorite songs are "Nude", "Weird Fishes/Arpeggi" and "Jigsaw Falling Into Place". However, this is subject to change.

Today I booked my tickets to Southern Spain. I'm going over Halloween weekend. I really wish I could be in the US for Halloween. I want to get dressed up! I guess seeing Granada, Cordoba and Sevilla will be just as good. It's going to be All Saints while we're there. I hear Andalucia is friendlier, cheaper and more traditionally Spanish than the rest of the country. After visiting Toledo and seeing the influence of so many cultures I got REALLY excited about this trip. I have also altered my plans for Prague. I was having trouble getting someone to go with me. Megumi was considering, but she wanted to see Berlin. I wasn't opposed to Berlin, so we put our heads together and decided to fly to Berlin, take a bus to Prague and then go back to Barcelona from there. TWO CITIES! With Megumi. It's going to be our grand finale! Right before finals and right before I go back to the US. Though I might try to squeeze one more short trip in. I still want to go to (and can easily get to) Avignon, somewhere in northern Spain and Portugal. I'd only have time for one, if that.

Since my computer broke I've been to Tarragona, Montserrat and Madrid. (Tarra/Mont are actually SOUTH of Barcelona, not north.) Tomorrow I'm leaving for Figueres which is north of Barcelona, for sure. It's close to France and home to the Dalí Museum. I have yet to write about any of these adventures in the blog. :( I've been really busy this week and haven't had time to sit down to write long entrages. I'll make it happen because I can't forget these times.

Tonight was supposed to be a low-key wine and cheese gathering, although canceled. Now, a pub instead, perhaps. Today I watched the most boring (and most important, some say) Spanish movie, El Verdugo. Last night I tangoed on the streets at 3AM with an Argentinian dancer. I ate Nutella and galletas in the kitchen when I got home. We'd eaten little squids for dinner and I couldn't swallow enough to fill me up. It was like eating bugs. The smell is still lingering in the refrigerator. Rather, taking over.

I keep getting into situations and I can't believe it's my life. Halfway through the semester my friends and I still talk about how unreal it is we're living here.