Negativo

I'm missing things that don't exist in my life at all.

Tonight was not good. I noticed things I didn't like about Barcelona because I wasn't feeling happy. I spent exactly 40 minutes walking home and thought privately to myself. I was alone.

The ugliest things in this city are McDonald's, Burger King and Starbucks. They litter the streets. Literally. (No pun intended.) I saw all this trash on the street and in this plaza and then looked to my left and there's a McDonald's. Of course all the trash is greasy bags and hamburger boxes and soda cups.

I am also starting to resent all of the couples all over the place and how annoyingly public they are with their affections for each other. On my walk home I must have passed six couples all in a row. Looking happy. Sure...they're all quite in love after a few drinks on a Saturday night. My affection didn't seem to make it across the Atlantic. I lost it somewhere.

Another thing I've come to hate is Las Ramblas. I'm so close to it, it's hard to get away from, but I'm not sure of the other routes to get out of my area of town without encountering it. The worst is when I'm trying to get to class and I'm walking up Las Ramblas behind some stupid slow tourists who are looking in a window or at some street performer. I try to pass politely but it's so hard. It's nearly impossible to walk at a quick speed down that road. I've tried so many times.

Learning has also become a frustation. I am so eager to know this language and to speak fluently and I can't yet! My mom told me that when I was learning to read I'd get really upset because I wouldn't know words or couldn't read fast enough. I vaguely remember the irritation and aggravation of that time. Eventually I made it into the highest reading group. Anyway, I feel the same way about Spanish. Learning is almost painful. I want it so bad, but it doesn't come fast enough. Laura compared it to learning to type. It just happens and you can't imagine not being able to.

Last thing I'll complain about: this sickness! First it was exhaustion. Then a few days of headaches at night that could only be cured by sleeping. Then I got the stupid pink eye. Now I have a sore throat and am developing a cough. Is it common to not have a tolerance to "European bacteria"? Does such a thing exist? Usually my immune system is really strong, but right now it sucks!

Okay, so despite my whining...I still love it. I know I've just had an unfortunate night. I'm not taking it for granted!

On the bright side, one of my favorite bands, Air, is playing here in November and I'm totally going. It's an anniversary party for a popular venue in Barcelona.

I'm going to watch the movie I rented and try to fall asleep. At just past 2:30AM, the night's still young here in Barcelona, but I'm still American and it seems like a good time for rest.