Seeking Balance

I hate driving Austin/Houston and Houston/Austin.

I went home this weekend and the ride from Austin to Houston was excruciating. Somehow it's never felt that long. Maybe because I thought I was going to fall asleep the whole ride home. My unsettled mind was trying to race, but it was hardly functioning.

The way back tonight was slightly better. At least without such sleepiness.

Home was nice. Friday night my mom had a celebration for her boyfriend at a local Mexican restaurant. I finally got to meet a lot of his extended family. There were so many questions and so much attention. I wished I hadn't been so tired because I could barely handle it. I met Steve's crazy brother. He was a little too crazy for me. I just couldn't find any way to connect with him. He was too scattered after too many margaritas. After eating fajitas and drinking a couple of margs I was about to pass out from exhaustion. We got home and I fell asleep as soon as I laid on my bed, but only for a nap...then I woke up and went downstairs to talk to everyone. I didn't last much longer that night. So many things from this past week wore me down to a silent sleeping heap.

Saturday morning I had to get up early because my dad, sister and I went to Galveston. My dad insists on leaving early in the morning so we can eat at Cracker Barrel on the way. We just call it "The Burrel". A longstanding family joke. Galveston was tolerable. There wasn't a whole load of seaweed on the shore. It still littered the water, too much. I kept peeking into my bathing suit and finding it full of black bits and seaweed leaves. Then I saw a clear bug chomping on my arm. I only really went into the water once because I can't stand to be itchy. I'm already too itchy because of all the parasites living in this rotten old house.

Later at my dad's house he pulled out a duffel bag. He'd gone to visit my grandpa a couple of weeks ago and my grandpa had given my dad a bag of my grandma's stuff. My dad left it with my sister and I while he went to the store to get some ingredients for dinner. We were allowed to take what we wanted of my grandma's stuff. The bag was oddly full of hats. I had no idea she even had that many. Hats, a few scarves, a shirt and cosmetics bags full of her toiletries. It was a little weird. We each took a hat, my sister took some gloves. I took some scarves. I also took two other things, but only because they remind me specifically of her and I wanted to keep them. First was a little nail kit full of the tools she used to fix her nails. Her nails were always so long and well manicured. Numerous times I remember seeing her sitting on the couch or at the dinner table with that little kit...filing away, trimming, polishing. I don't intend to use the kit, but it's symbolic of her. I also took the one shirt that was in the bag. My grandma was known for wearing large bright silky/satiny button-up shirts over black pants and black tank tops. This also reminds me of her.

That night I went to a party with my friend. It was too crazy for me. But I was happy when I got to drive her fast car home on the open freeways of Houston.

Today I finally got to eat my dad's Italian food. It's better than ever.

In the work life, my new job is going well. I think it's completely cute. At least for now. I mostly research Texas construction projects. Friday I made my first phone calls. It doesn't make me nervous to call people in general, but I was scared because I didn't feel like I knew what I was talking about well enough. I am learning SO MUCH about construction, but I'm still pretty stupid about it for the most part. My calls went okay. I seriously think this office is like "The Office". There's not quite so much drama, but the people are like characters. It's almost like sitting around in a TV show, almost. I have my own phone line and computer and cubicle that I can decorate. Though I am holding off. I haven't become too bored of it yet.

Wednesday was my Waco day. I thought it went okay. I got there at 9:30AM and stayed until 2:30PM. The news director was an older man, very respectable. Kind of intimidating. I was able to talk to some of the reporters, take a tour, pre-interview with the assistant news director, sit in on a meeting. After the actual interview I went to do a drug test and then had to take a writing test. I want to believe that by doing these things it means that maybe they're more interested in me. The station itself seems very nice. A huge studio and newly remodeled newsroom. I am supposed to hear back some time in the next week-ish. I want it SO SO SO bad. I wish there was something more I could do, but I've already sent them a note in case they forget about me after interviewing everyone else. Apparently I was one of the first people called in to interview. It was such an amazing feeling to see my resume/resume tape sitting on the TOP of the huge stack. :)

I'm mostly feeling positive. I want to maximize my satisfaction. Certain things may be improved. Stuff feels unbalanced.